WHO AM I, by - Maniac

Who am I -  a write up by a Delhi university girl who like the many other of her age wants to make a mark in the world , but in the rat race of life cluttered with stress , she wants to first know who she is.she call's herself a maniac maybe that's what we all once we lift the mask we are wearing.

The first 7 years of our life we grow learning the norms and behavior's of the society which  help us classify as normal human and distinguishes us from the abnormal.  then the next 10 years we grow to uphold the expectations of our parents . After full filling them our next 5 years are nurtured by life that's the only time we grow close to know a little about  ourself.  then we spend the next 5 years to find a respectable job and income under the same identity so that after the age of 30 when we are settled we take over our parents name and start our own family so that we can continue to pass the same identity and we mistake it with - legacy!
 have you ever tired to find out  actually - who am i , leaving the mask of the society ,responsibilities of family and race of being someone just to know -thyself  !

who am i has recently been the most credential question of my life…what is  the reason of my living. I tried to figure out its answer's, what i found  was this.. -  my life revolves around that crowd of people  whom i am a part…but still am far apart from it…don’t know what they call me…or why they need me…for some i am their adviser, for some their best friend for some their  daughter and for some  a sister. But guess what, being so much for so many…i still cannot make out what i am or who i am…..on this journey of knowing me….i often bump my head into past stories where often i have disappointed someone with my failure or made someone smile for a minute….what i still don't get is being good for someone how do i turn bad the other moment for the same person. how come my one failure  becomes heavier than my hundred wins, that it gives a reason of taunt for my lifetime!. Well I just want to ask if I am such a  big loser why do you still expect winning from me. If I am so bad why do you find your reasons of being happy from me. So after such long writing the only conclusion I have is…we all don't know what we are meant for, it could be to make someone happy or make someone sad or even disappoint someone…all I know is every day  I open my eyes in dream to venture something new about me, (WELL HOW OFTEN DO WE DO THAT ) but I often end up in knowing something which does not makes me happy or sad. But for the night i make sure that before  i put my eyes to rest i have at least one image to remember from the day , in which i made someone smiled . And in the days when life's takes my smile i just tell my self that god gave mine to someone who needed it more than me .
​well I still have no idea why I wrote this… maybe this could be just an alternative for the answer of my question.

 by - Maniac 

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